Making sense of overwhelm
Making sense of your experiences is an important step on the path to recovery
Sometimes, the hardest part of emotional suffering is not knowing where it begins or ends. When we're feeling overwhelmed by our emotions and by life problems it can feel like we're dealing with a huge dark cloud completely enveloping us. The whole thing just feel horrible, overwhelming, and inescapable.
But what we're not recognising clearly at those time is that the experience of being emotionally overwhelmed by life is made up of different parts or different aspects which can include:
Stressful aspects of our current life circumstances
Fears and worries about the future
Unmet emotional needs
Unhelpful coping strategies
Addictive behaviours
An unresolved sense of injustice.
Unresolved grief
Unresolved trauma
Unhelpful comparisons with other people or with how life "should" be
Understanding that emotional overwhelm is made up of many different parts helps us feel less trapped by it. We can begin to see the shape of what we’re dealing with, rather than just feeling lost inside it. And once we can see those elements more clearly, we can start to work with them one by one.
I like to describe therapy (as I practise it) as having three stages: Discuss, Plan, and Transform.
The first two states of therapy (Discuss and Plan) are all about clearly identifying ALL (or as many as possible) of those different parts or aspects of what's going on in order to give us both a clear sense of the issues that we need to address. We can then decide, together, the order in which we want to address those issues using powerful change methods such as Relationship Trauma Protocol and the other BWRT protocols.
The Discuss and Plan stages are not just preparatory steps prior to the actual therapy in the Transform stage. They are a part of the therapy experience itself. They enable you to start to clearly see and understand what's going on. Even though we haven’t yet started the transformational work of working with the Relationship Trauma Protocol and other BWRT protocols to resolve the relationship trauma, you may already find that you are feeling less threatened and overwhelmed by your problems simply on account of understanding much more clearly what they are.
Once that clarity is established, we can begin the Transform stage with confidence and purpose. Instead of feeling lost in a cloud of distress, you now have a clear map and a plan. Together, we can address the most important issues first and create meaningful change by addressing traumatic memories and replacing old emotional patterns with new responses.
If you’ve been affected by relationship trauma or abuse and would like to explore support, I offer a free initial consultation which can be booked here.
